I hope you’re enjoying the 28 Days to Self Love + Self Care Social Media Challenge (on Instagram, Facebook + Twitter @blisslived). If you’d like to join you still most certainly can, just pick up where we are at in Day 13 or start at Day 1 (you can find the day in the middle column if you’re on Instagram). For all of this month of February I’m sharing actionable steps to help you develop a greater sense of self love, healthier habits, and a more positive mindset – so that you can create a self love centered lifestyle this year.
I’m going through it too, so it makes the experience that much more personal + connected for both of us!
Today I want to share with you 7 tips that have helped me last year (when I was in thick of healing this) and I just know it will help you to see things just a bit more differently, and also help encourage you on your journey.
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Self Love is often times looked as a process of filling up your own cup, and although that’s in part true, we don’t want to just *fill* our cups but instead enter a stage of overflow (and then give from our saucers). The only way to do that is to unlock a way to keep our cup overflowing through gradual habit shifts, mindset changes, and entering a radical self love lifestyle.
When you’re at the end of the rope, as the adage says – you tie a knot and hang on, until either a) help comes your way, b) you figure out how to move from where you are… or c) a combo of the two. This self love challenge is in a way just that. If you feel like you’re at the end of your rope feeling depleted, each step is a step toward activating an overflowing wellspring within you.
I get you I’ve been there.
If you’re looking for a pick me up and realignment, this is that, too.
So onto the tips!
# 1 – Follow Your Inklings
The daily prompts of the challenge are gentle adjustments (kind of like they do with our kids braces). However, for others it’s the first time – and step into a journey that can take, weeks, months and even a year (s) depending on what your own path looks like and what needs to be healed. Many people start challenges online or through groups with the faulty expectation that once they do the exercises they are done. But the reality is you may get inklings to other additional things you need to do that your spirit or soul, may be pointing you towards and are essential for your own personal healing.
So take heed and make space if this happens.
Be open to whatever messages may come through for you, or prompts you get; this could aide or compliment the exercises and areas we’re meditating on everyday. For instance, you might get a desire to paint, go do yoga, or reorganize your closet or pantry – all with unique energetic implications in different forms..
I’ve also learned that the universe has an amazing way of reciprocating and answering us when we walk in the direction of healing. It begins to give us more signs, information, and help in the direction of what Abraham-Hicks calls your energy vortex.
#2 – Indulge Even When It May Not Seem Convenient
As moms (even spiritual ones), it can be hard to let go of “our control freak versions” or rather the residual reflexes of it, like the *every minute, planned and accounted for kind of mom.” There are pros and cons to this because on the up side we have a precious value of the time we have here in this life on earth; but on the down side – it can leave us very little room for spontaneity and meeting our spur of the moment beckoning needs.
Even with all of the progress with this, I still have my moments loves (total vulnerable truth here). For instance, I didn’t expect to love the Imbolc Inspired Goddess bath as much as I did on Day 4 and my new Trader Joe’s Lavender Scrub (I’ve had Self care Sunday baths before but never this luxurious). Apparently my body and soul really loved it because the next day on a Monday – I was really needing to unwind and nurture myself to another self care sesh (Apparently the indulgence debt still had not been paid! Kind of like the sleep debt doctors and wellness gurus often talk about…). My body was signaling it wanted more of Sunday’s course but the problem was it interfered with all of the things I had to do on Monday. I just didn’t see how I could fit in with everything I needed to do – and then the enlightenment thing happened. I saw the lesson in front of me, the opportunity of what my body was trying to SAY to me – and I decided to just listen. Afterwards, a more refreshed mom showed up for the day, as well as being much more connected.
Now you may be saying to yourself, “Yeah but I have to work during the week, or I cant just drop things at any-given-moment to take *another* long bath.” My answer to you is – I challenge you to find a creative way to make the time for it – or modify it. Because its usually in those inconvenient moments that we need self care the most. Your body talking back is a sacred thing too. So sacred and you’ve been ignoring it for so long. Its part of the reason why, almost as quickly as I thought the thought (almost like a reflex, because our habits are that strong and need to be retrained); I quickly acknowledged it but chose a better more self loving + prioritizing thought – and action (while still keeping the main priorities of the day at the forefront)t. Even though thoughts like “What are you doing?” “You should be doing this instead..” may creep up. Kindly silence them and do it anyway – right at that moment if you can, or at least by the end of the day.
In the same way that our babes had to eat or nurse – and we quickly acquiesced to their demands – as moms we need to learn to make those similar concessions with ourselves and make them into strong habits, if we want to be able to show up as our best versions. In many ways we are learning to do the same with the needs of our body, mind, and spirit as moms and women.
#3-Let the Right Time for Your Self Love Rituals Show Itself To You
Did you know time is a manmade concept and thanks to the Sumerians we have a 60 minute hour? Just like money?! (If you are doing the 52 Week Money Savings Challenge with me this year… abundance opportunities will manifest for us in a similar way too). The key to greater abundance is gratitude, and the first building block towards gratitude (an attitude of being thankful, my own personal definition) is self love by appreciating the first and most important thing we have in our life: ourselves.
SO even though time isn’t real all of us plan our lives around it and our society revolves around it. Yet, when healing and working on things like self love (which are spiritual just like money); we have to throw our old measurement and ways of working on things out the window. When I first started the Self Love Challenge I had an *idea *of when I would do the exercises and rituals, and when I might have extra time in my day… and as you can imagine most of those times did not end up working. INSTEAD the right times – the ideal times – the times divinely MEANT for me to do this work, opened up and became clear to me as the day progressed. Even though this happened last year, somehow I forgot because like I already mentioned – old habits can die.hard. even for self proclaimed spiritual mommas. So the universe just lovingly keeps sending you another bold reminder after another.
So for the rest of the challenge, just like in mothering, homeschooling and life in general – many things did not go as planned right? Consider the same inconveniences on this spiritual journey back to yourself as the same. Be flexible and allow yourself to be guided and surprised.
#4-Pay Attention to the Synchronicities
Synchronicities are big bold, repetitive signs or messages from the universe or source spirit.
Just like everyone’s life paths are different, so are everyone’s paths back to self love and care. However, one thing that I think is true for all of us is the immense synchronicities or repetitive messages that start showing up for all of us when starting a new path. Synchronicities differ from signs mentioned above in the way that they are more repetitive. Its a way for spirit or your guides to grab your attention and point you towards something that’s important to your mission and path so you DONT miss it.
One of the things I regret the most is not documenting all of the synchronicities that started to happen to me once I started walking in my path (self love and all of the other shifts and initiations I was going through..). Its very easy to forget our synchronicities in light of mom-life and all of the things our attention eventually drifts to. Having a journal (Day 5) will help you connect the dots and see any overarching themes showing up for you to help you heal yourself and accelerate your progress.
Synchronicities tend to intensify as you strengthen or open up a connection with the divine. Less intense synchronicities are usually seen as coincidences, or single solitary *signs* i.e. serendipity. No matter what degree you experience – they are all indications that you are going in the right direction. After being in the dark for so long and with little hope, this guidance often felt like a big, bright, lighthouse or beacon – showing you how hot or cold I was from where I needed to be.
#5 -Allow these Actions to become a Part of Your Lifestyle + then Let Them Touch Others Too
As moms we are the greatest role models, teachers and influencers in our children’s and families’ lives. This poignantly came to light when my children quickly demanded they also *need* to get to do the many things they saw me doing for myself! As a result, they became teachable moments in disguise – life skills and personal development skills, that will help them in their own self love relationship by seeing how their mom is doing it.
Even though anything with “self” in front of it usually gets a bad wrap or stirs up connotations of selfishness or solitary activities. This is not the case with this challenge. Even though you are taking time out for yourself to give to yourself, doing an exercise or an acitivity – it does not mean you are disconnecting yourself from the world, your family, or others. If anything on the contrary, it opens a channel for questions, curiosity, and dialogue. They might wonder why you are so much more refreshed, rested or happy and charged up in a new way in the hours of the day they are with you.
Let the excess spill over and by all means help your children, spouse, best friend or anyone else you feel compelled to – incorporate more self love into their lives.
#6 – Take things Slow
As moms we are so conditioned to multitask (carry a babe on our hip, putting clothes to wash – all while balancing a few dinner plates in the air at the same time).
It’s a gift, that turns on with the maternal instinct I’m convinced.
The fast movement of our children, their milestones and their natural speed of doing things – brings us to a fast pace too. However, that does not have to be the standard set pace for ALL things, ALL the time. It’s just not healthy.
If you feel tempted to apply the same quick movement to your self love journey consider instead slowing down just like when we first tried to get our babies to latch on while breastfeeding (for most of us it took forever!). Have major patience.
If you’ve been on this journey before or have been at it for awhile your speed may be faster; however if you’re just starting out give yourself ample and loving time. Some deep emotions, past experiences and need for processing might emerge needing more than a day or even a month. These things take time, and usually a great deal of tears.
Even though we are going day by day – the posts will remain up on my profile. So move onto the next day’s focus as quickly or as slowly as your soul knudges you to.
Will Smith shared last week in his Instatory (on Instagram)…
That he was starting motorcycle training that morning after not being on a bike for over 10 years (for his new movie Gemini Man). I’m so grateful that a) he vulnerably shared this shadow-side of acting none of us ever hardly see… and b) my guides brought me there to see it at that exact time (if you’re not on Instagram.. they erase after 24 hrs just like snapchats). He said the last time he was on a bike was for his movie I-Robot – and he stopped riding because he crashed at 50 MPH in front of his wife and daughter. I was so shocked to hear that, and could see + hear the sadness in his eyes and voice in saying it out loud.
In many ways we are also getting back on a figurative bike, back to ourserlves. We’re not exactly sure how to start, or how it will go – but just like Will, we cant let fear stop us by putting self limiting beliefs on ourselves and getting back to that connected and loving relationship with ourselves. The journey can be fraught with some of the same kind of pain from an accident – pain, memories, triggers, shame, guilt and the list goes on. You may also feel at a disadvantage because so many others your age or in your family or circle of friends don’t have the same need. Don’t let that hold you back from healing.
Know that in order to bloom from within you must crack just like a seed must in order to grow; — or like the lotus must emerge from the weight and darkness of the mud and water.
#7- Lean into the Flickers of Love
You know how a few flickers or sparks start to ignite just before it becomes a fully lit campfire?
Starting to love yourself and care for yourself in many ways feels like that. Each day pay attention to those flickers of light and how it feels. It’ll help you get re-acquainted on how it feels to love again and what healthy love feels like.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post.
Hear another 3 Tips for this Month’s Self Love | Self Care Challenge in my YouTube video below, or by clicking on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGZdVn_kUSQ